We Are Sound... What if?

"But what if on some level we are made of sound? What if in the beginning was the Word? What if the music of the spheres is no myth? What if we ourselves are a harmonic convergence? What if the holographic grid of our being is a linguistic and musical interface between higher-dimensional light, which might be considered a form of divine thought or intention, and sound in higher-dimensional octaves?" ~ Sol Luckman

What if? Huh... I never questioned it. As far as I know we ARE sound.  We are a configuration of pulsing, vibrating, resonating molecules. And hence, we hear a sound... a voice, a bird, a chime, a heartbeat, a breath and we resonate. Not only do we resonate but sometimes we gravitate physically, mentally, emotionally toward that frequency.  Sometimes it is the frequency of silence, of kindness, of compassion that draws us nearer to its source. 

Me? I follow the sound of music- literally! How many times have I heard music coming from a park, a bar, a festival and practically run towards it because it feeds me and it nourishes me. (We can be fed without being nourished, right?) 

Last week I went to a kirtan in Westport, CT, with Jai Uttal. We had a little chat before he started about some of the transitions I am moving through in my life and it connected me into some sensations around my heart- some sadness around letting go of parts of my life that are no longer working for me- no longer nourishing me. When the kirtan started my tears began to flow in a very sweet gentle way and I found that it was the perfect way to release some of the sadness without being overtaken by it- that I was able to move into a deep heartfelt space and to experience the feelings without having to get into naming and details... and as the kirtan evolved and grew stronger my heart grew quieter and more joyful until I was swept away by the music and the singing. I closed my eyes, merging with the music,  and a memory arose of body surfing in the ocean- that feeling of getting into the perfect position when the waves are just the right size- not too big, not too small- first, making the effort to align myself with the oncoming wave and then being picked up by it, swimming a few strokes with it, then letting go and surrendering to it and the sheer exhilaration of being carried, whatever distance, to the shore.  

And I thought to myself, "I am being swept up in a wave of bhakti." 

Maybe bhav is really a better word, as it was really the experience of ecstasy- bhakti refers more to devotion which can lead us to ecstasy. Kirtan is really a practice of bhakti yoga and yoga, any yoga, always has the goal of union with the Divine. 

Enough about that- this isn't really supposed to be a treatise on yoga- just an attempt at clarity!

Anyway, I had a lovely week of sacred sound.  I had only returned from Florida a week earlier and am still getting settled into my winter domicile in Rhode Island. But I was off to western Connecticut, first for Jai's beautiful kirtan and then to perform two Sound Journeys- one at my friend Suzanne Benton's house in Ridgefield, CT, and the next night down the road from there at Blackbird Yoga.  Unfortunately somehow we forgot about photos- also I thought I was recording the Sound Journey on Friday night but it turned out it that I somehow turned "Record" off instead of ON! Oh well, here is a photo of my arrival at Suzanne's- instruments by the door- followed by a couple after they are set up. 

And last but never least- here is a very rocking Hare Krishna kirtan which Jai did in Westport a few nights before. This was recorded in Boston a few months earlier, in August of this year. And check out the woman playing the kartals as it starts to rock- she is amazing! Hare Bol! Enjoy...

In Appreciation of the Gentleness of God

God is being so gentle with me...

I am making huge changes in my life- leaving a long-term relationship, closing my business of seven years, and relocating back to New England- said to be the 3 most stressful events in one's life all going on at once.

This summer when I first officially "moved" back to Rhode Island one of my sons, Moose, and his wife Addie were living virtually around the corner from me which was so lovely and wonderful and comforting- and fun! In September I went back down to Florida and I spent the month house-sitting for dear friends with an amazing house, a Himalayan cat, a swimming pool and a koi pond while I wound things down at the sound healing center.

Actually "wound down" may not be the best way of putting it- I had the busiest month I have ever had there in terms of my business!  And at the end of it I spent the last week cleaning, packing and going back and forth to my storage unit- all that mixed in with last minute visits, sessions, lunches, dinners and cups of coffee and tea with dear friends so that we could say goodbye one more time.

After saying goodbye to my life of 17 years I headed back up to Rhode Island.  I just got back last night. However while I was in Florida my son and his wife moved out to Minneapolis so they were gone when I got back.  It has been strongly in my mind that I need to spend time alone as I have never done so for any length of time and that was my intention when I came up for the summer last May. Instead I was busy getting settled and reconnecting with family and friends, trying to get my business established up here and outside of that getting every minute I could with Moose and Addie knowing they would be leaving soon.

I had a small cabin on an old friend's property but was rarely there for more than three days at a time as I was so busy.  Now I am back and winter is coming on the heels of fall. I drove in last night with the outside temperature at 49 degrees, a windy rainy blustery night.  Perfect. This weather I understand. I felt my cells coming alive again, my spirit excited and happy.

My friend Joya- actually my dance teacher from 40 years ago- who owns the house I am living in leaves in a month- back to California, gone for the winter.  The house will be empty except for me- and I will get my alone time, my healing time.  And I am grateful for the gentleness of the transition. I realized it tonight. The sadness that Moose and Addie are gone, who were such great company over the summer but the awareness that Joya was here still- good company and a great friend- and that the shift to being here alone was being done in such a beautiful gentle way.

This morning I awoke to the sun coming in my bedroom window.

And where is the music? Where is the sound? Everything that has sparked me lately in the realm of music and sound has been soft, gentle, compassionate and humble. The day before yesterday my sister Jenny and I went to see the movie "Searching for Sugarman." The story of Sixto Roderiguez, a brilliant musician who faded into obscurity before he ever had a chance- a beacon of wisdom and humility who accepted that "Reality wins." He worked hard and accepted the reality of his world, the son of hard-working blue collar immigrants, but with his acceptance he never got beaten down by life. He escaped the anger, cynicism and bitterness that could so easily have become a part of his persona. And 40 years later he still had a dream and a gift to offer. You'll have to go see the movie to get the rest of the story!

And finally... this beautiful meditation that was sent to me a couple of weeks ago- today I had the chance to sit down and watch it... and breathe with it.  Take time for yourself.  Use the sounds around you as a reminder to be present to your Self, to be present to your breath, to be present to the Buddha within...

Closing a Door...

Today I continue wrapping things up at Sound Body Center. Henry decided after a slow summer it was too much for him to try to keep it open so this is the last weekend. Last event was Wednesday when I did a private Healing Sound Journey for a group and went from there to St. Pete College as a guest speaker with a bunch of Tibetan bowls and a few other instruments.

It has been amazing being here for the past month and seeing how many lives have been affected, touched, changed, by the center. I have actually been busier this month and made more money than any one month in the past 7 years which is interesting.  Last February I let people know I wouldn't be around as much and set up a bunch of events in light of that and no one showed up! That was actually when I first made the decision to close the center thinking it was apparently played out for whatever reason.

I have spent a lot of time in the space in the last 3 weeks realizing what an amazing gift it was both to myself and to so many others.  For me, to be able to spend my days in there- to be able to go from room to room with clients or just by myself and be able to lay down on a sound table, to be able to sit in another room and play crystal bowls, to walk into the next room and play my tamboura (thank you, Fred Johnson, Cathy and Barry), or sit and play Tibetan bowls for two hours- what an incredible blessing.

A few days ago I walked around and took pictures of everything that other people had donated to help create the beautiful space that it has been.

I love you
I thank you
I respect you

Hearing and Being... in the Here and Now

Blissful Listening Man by Rosie

It's early... a cool morning after a torrential downpour yesterday and intermittent rain throughout the night last night. The rain has cleared out and the air is beautiful. All the windows and doors are open in my cabin.  I still hear moisture dripping from the trees, the sound of cars in the distance and the steady sound of crickets. There is a crow far away and other birds whose songs I have heard all my life but whose names I don't know.

Ten years ago I started writing a book on sound healing. I had gotten a good start on it but when I opened the center in 2005 I put it up on the shelf above my desk in my office, and there it sat. Everyday I would see the binder of the folder it was in and look forward to the day I could get back to it. Occasionally I would take it down and look through it and see if what I had begun was still relevant.  Seven years went by. All the while I was running the sound healing center, hosting events, giving sessions, teaching workshops and having other sound healers come in and teach as well.  Lots of people passed through the center for lots of different events, teaching and learning. I, however, was the one constant there! And because of that I gained a tremendous amount of experience and information and knew that when it was over I would have much more to write about- and I do. 

Yesterday I got my manuscript out again and started working on it which has brought me back to thinking non-stop about sound. I awoke this morning still thinking about it and observing the sounds around me.  I lay in bed in the quiet, my mind wandering.  Then came the birds. There was a crow close by and a seagull. I noted the different quality of sound in each of them.  I also noticed how every time one of them called out it would snap me into the present.  Sound has that ability- it brought to mind the mynah in Aldous Huxley's book Island. "Here and now, boys. Here and now." Only it doesn't need to be said because that is actually what certain sounds do- bring us back to the here and now. Some sounds take us out of the body. Some bring us back.

As I lay there not fully awake I would begin drifting off again at times and on some level became aware that I was in a semi-altered state.  [Right now off in the distance the National Anthem just started playing- a game at a school starting somewhere? It's exactly 8 a.m.] At one point it felt as if I was in a moving vehicle, a train perhaps? And my body was being carried along at an almost unnervingly high speed and then the sound of the crow would slice through my awareness and I was fully present, here and now.  I contemplated the movement and measurement of time and the development of devices for measuring time and how the use of clocks and the actual ticking away of the seconds has brought about, or reinforced, the need for control- and the illusion that we actually might have some control over time, over the events in our lives. And an obsession around it, maybe something like a collective neurosis, that has allowed a deep-seated fear of the future to surface. It is a fascinating thing to think about... how much energy is wasted worrying about not making deadlines, being late for appointments, being upset with other people for being late. For most of us our daily lives are ruled by the clock and the weeks and months that stretch before us neatly marked on a calendar. It is a frightening prospect. So many plans, so many disappointments, so many opportunities to let ourselves and others down.

A few years ago it hit me as I was driving over the Skyway Bridge (I remember the moment vividly) worrying about arriving a few minutes late for an appointment, that if we didn't have this obsession about being bound to the ticking of the clock, if we set our appointments and meetings by the movement of the sun and the moon and the stars we might be far more relaxed and less anxious. I thought, if I were to meet that person when the sun came up over a particular tree 5 minutes wouldn't matter at all.  And they wouldn't wonder where I was unless it rose high above the tree and I still hadn't shown up- and then maybe they would begin to wonder if I had fallen off my horse or been attacked by a wild animal in the woods.

How healthy is it to plan for the future? Is it an exercise in self-discipline or an exercise in futility? Or is it both- a gift and a curse? And where am I going with all this? A fast-moving train of thought!  Part of the gift is that when our fears come to the surface we have to look at them and try to understand where they are really coming from. What are we really afraid of?

A Course in Miracles has some beautiful passages on the purpose and passing of time, how we perceive it and how we choose to use it- essentially on behalf of the ego or on behalf of the Holy Spirit.
The following are excerpts from Workbook Lesson 135- "If I defend myself I am attacked."

    "A healed mind does not plan. It carries out the plans that it receives through listening to Wisdom that is not its own..."
    "A healed mind is relieved of the belief that it must plan, although it cannot know the outcome which is best, the means by which it is achieved, nor how to recognize the problem that the plan is made to solve..."
    "The mind engaged in planning for itself is occupied in setting up control of future happenings. It does not think it will be provided for, unless it makes its own provisions. Time becomes a future emphasis, to be controlled by learning and experience obtained from past events and previous beliefs. It overlooks the present, for it rest on the idea the past has taught enough to let the mind direct its future course.
    "The mind that plans is thus refusing to allow for change. What it has learned before becomes the basis for its future goals. Its past experience directs its choice of what will happen. And it does not see that here and now is everything it needs to guarantee a future quite unlike the past, without a continuity of old ideas and sick beliefs. Anticipation plays no part at all, for present confidence directs the way.
    "Defenses are plans you undertake to make against the truth...
    "What could you not accept, if you but knew that everything that happens, all events, past, present, and to come, are gently planned by One Whose only purpose is your good?"

And Lesson 194- "I place the future in the Hands of God."
 
    "God holds your future as He holds your past and present. They are one to Him, and so they should be one to you. Yet in this world, the temporal progression still seems real. And so you are not asked to understand the lack of sequence really found in time. You are but asked to let the future go, and place it in God's Hands. And you will see by your experience that you have the past and present in His Hands as well, because the past will punish you no more, and future dread will now be meaningless.
    "Release the future. For the past is gone, and what is present, freed from its bequest of grief and misery, of pain and loss, becomes the instant in which time escapes the bondage of illusions where it runs its pitiless, inevitable course.  Then is each instant which was slave to time transformed into a holy instant, when the light that was kept hidden in God's Son is freed to bless the world.  Now is he free, and all his glory shines upon a world made free with him, to share his holiness."

Ainsi soit-il.
 
    So be it.
     
        Amen.

Midnight Meditation

I am sitting in my cabin, in my bed, listening to the outdoor sounds-  mostly the steady sound of insects. More than one kind I would say.  Occasionally an airplane... cars off in the distance.  And very quietly behind it all the steady sound of the ocean. I close my eyes and the sounds are hypnotic, grabbing my awareness.  This will be my midnight meditation tonight and perhaps my lullaby. I feel the sounds move through my body if I am very quiet. The clicking on my keyboard pulls me out of the kinesthetic experience of the  sound. I stop and close my eyes again and feel myself drifting into the rhythm of the repetitive choruses of the crickets and other insects. I can hear at least three different groups of them, each with a different frequency and rate at which they repeat their song.  I think of Jim Wilson and his beautiful recording of God's Cricket Chorus, a recording of crickets slowed down to match the lifespan of a human. Their sound is transformed to what could easily be a choir of angels singing celestial harmonies.

Singing Ringing Tree

The latest most exciting discovery in my world of sound exploration, unusual instruments, sound sculptures, etc.  This video is also brilliantly shot and beautiful. Enjoy!

Tuning Mom

Well, again Mom has had profound results from the tuning forks and I realize I need to be writing about this and keeping track because the results are so dramatic and consistent.

For those who have not read my posts from early last year my mother is 90 years. She is very "with it" mentally, but she does have pretty bad arthritis. Typically a lot of pain in her neck, her hips and her hands. Her mobility is thus somewhat compromised- she uses a walker and after a lifetime of needlework and gardening her fingers have become very stiff and she has lost a lot of the sensitivity that she had in her fingers so it is hard for her to pick things up and to do things that require manual dexterity. 

I began giving her treatments with tuning forks a couple of years ago and she responded really well to them so we have been working with them more and more.  The results are very fast.  

Last week I used the Otto 128 (cycles per second) on her hands- the wrists, joints, and fingertips. She told me the next day that her hands felt much better and she called me three days after that to say that she couldn't get over how much better her hands still were after the treatment.

Today I came to visit and tonight after dinner we were sitting at the table and she complained about a lot of pain in her right hip and butt cheek. I decided to work on her right where she was- sitting in her chair.  I used the Otto 64 on the points that I could get to- no specific protocol, just basically where it hurt and where I could get to with her sitting in the chair. Then I switched to the Otto 128 and did the same thing but also used it on the outside of the right thigh, basically following the gall bladder meridian. I got to one spot and she said all of a sudden her butt was hurting again- I told her I thought it was referred pain and that I also felt that something was clearing and wanting to stay with it a couple more minutes. 

Then I told her that I would work on her some more when she went to bed so that I could work on her with her lying on her side. She decided to go up shortly after that. I told her to let me know when she was ready to get in bed and I would come up. She called down the stairs about ten minutes later and said that the pain in her hip was completely gone! She was astounded- as was I and my sister Miranda who is also here for a visit. I used the otto 128 on her hands after she got in bed but she had no other complaints. Can't wait to see how she's feeling in the morning!