We Are Sound... What if?

"But what if on some level we are made of sound? What if in the beginning was the Word? What if the music of the spheres is no myth? What if we ourselves are a harmonic convergence? What if the holographic grid of our being is a linguistic and musical interface between higher-dimensional light, which might be considered a form of divine thought or intention, and sound in higher-dimensional octaves?" ~ Sol Luckman

What if? Huh... I never questioned it. As far as I know we ARE sound.  We are a configuration of pulsing, vibrating, resonating molecules. And hence, we hear a sound... a voice, a bird, a chime, a heartbeat, a breath and we resonate. Not only do we resonate but sometimes we gravitate physically, mentally, emotionally toward that frequency.  Sometimes it is the frequency of silence, of kindness, of compassion that draws us nearer to its source. 

Me? I follow the sound of music- literally! How many times have I heard music coming from a park, a bar, a festival and practically run towards it because it feeds me and it nourishes me. (We can be fed without being nourished, right?) 

Last week I went to a kirtan in Westport, CT, with Jai Uttal. We had a little chat before he started about some of the transitions I am moving through in my life and it connected me into some sensations around my heart- some sadness around letting go of parts of my life that are no longer working for me- no longer nourishing me. When the kirtan started my tears began to flow in a very sweet gentle way and I found that it was the perfect way to release some of the sadness without being overtaken by it- that I was able to move into a deep heartfelt space and to experience the feelings without having to get into naming and details... and as the kirtan evolved and grew stronger my heart grew quieter and more joyful until I was swept away by the music and the singing. I closed my eyes, merging with the music,  and a memory arose of body surfing in the ocean- that feeling of getting into the perfect position when the waves are just the right size- not too big, not too small- first, making the effort to align myself with the oncoming wave and then being picked up by it, swimming a few strokes with it, then letting go and surrendering to it and the sheer exhilaration of being carried, whatever distance, to the shore.  

And I thought to myself, "I am being swept up in a wave of bhakti." 

Maybe bhav is really a better word, as it was really the experience of ecstasy- bhakti refers more to devotion which can lead us to ecstasy. Kirtan is really a practice of bhakti yoga and yoga, any yoga, always has the goal of union with the Divine. 

Enough about that- this isn't really supposed to be a treatise on yoga- just an attempt at clarity!

Anyway, I had a lovely week of sacred sound.  I had only returned from Florida a week earlier and am still getting settled into my winter domicile in Rhode Island. But I was off to western Connecticut, first for Jai's beautiful kirtan and then to perform two Sound Journeys- one at my friend Suzanne Benton's house in Ridgefield, CT, and the next night down the road from there at Blackbird Yoga.  Unfortunately somehow we forgot about photos- also I thought I was recording the Sound Journey on Friday night but it turned out it that I somehow turned "Record" off instead of ON! Oh well, here is a photo of my arrival at Suzanne's- instruments by the door- followed by a couple after they are set up. 

And last but never least- here is a very rocking Hare Krishna kirtan which Jai did in Westport a few nights before. This was recorded in Boston a few months earlier, in August of this year. And check out the woman playing the kartals as it starts to rock- she is amazing! Hare Bol! Enjoy...

In Appreciation of the Gentleness of God

God is being so gentle with me...

I am making huge changes in my life- leaving a long-term relationship, closing my business of seven years, and relocating back to New England- said to be the 3 most stressful events in one's life all going on at once.

This summer when I first officially "moved" back to Rhode Island one of my sons, Moose, and his wife Addie were living virtually around the corner from me which was so lovely and wonderful and comforting- and fun! In September I went back down to Florida and I spent the month house-sitting for dear friends with an amazing house, a Himalayan cat, a swimming pool and a koi pond while I wound things down at the sound healing center.

Actually "wound down" may not be the best way of putting it- I had the busiest month I have ever had there in terms of my business!  And at the end of it I spent the last week cleaning, packing and going back and forth to my storage unit- all that mixed in with last minute visits, sessions, lunches, dinners and cups of coffee and tea with dear friends so that we could say goodbye one more time.

After saying goodbye to my life of 17 years I headed back up to Rhode Island.  I just got back last night. However while I was in Florida my son and his wife moved out to Minneapolis so they were gone when I got back.  It has been strongly in my mind that I need to spend time alone as I have never done so for any length of time and that was my intention when I came up for the summer last May. Instead I was busy getting settled and reconnecting with family and friends, trying to get my business established up here and outside of that getting every minute I could with Moose and Addie knowing they would be leaving soon.

I had a small cabin on an old friend's property but was rarely there for more than three days at a time as I was so busy.  Now I am back and winter is coming on the heels of fall. I drove in last night with the outside temperature at 49 degrees, a windy rainy blustery night.  Perfect. This weather I understand. I felt my cells coming alive again, my spirit excited and happy.

My friend Joya- actually my dance teacher from 40 years ago- who owns the house I am living in leaves in a month- back to California, gone for the winter.  The house will be empty except for me- and I will get my alone time, my healing time.  And I am grateful for the gentleness of the transition. I realized it tonight. The sadness that Moose and Addie are gone, who were such great company over the summer but the awareness that Joya was here still- good company and a great friend- and that the shift to being here alone was being done in such a beautiful gentle way.

This morning I awoke to the sun coming in my bedroom window.

And where is the music? Where is the sound? Everything that has sparked me lately in the realm of music and sound has been soft, gentle, compassionate and humble. The day before yesterday my sister Jenny and I went to see the movie "Searching for Sugarman." The story of Sixto Roderiguez, a brilliant musician who faded into obscurity before he ever had a chance- a beacon of wisdom and humility who accepted that "Reality wins." He worked hard and accepted the reality of his world, the son of hard-working blue collar immigrants, but with his acceptance he never got beaten down by life. He escaped the anger, cynicism and bitterness that could so easily have become a part of his persona. And 40 years later he still had a dream and a gift to offer. You'll have to go see the movie to get the rest of the story!

And finally... this beautiful meditation that was sent to me a couple of weeks ago- today I had the chance to sit down and watch it... and breathe with it.  Take time for yourself.  Use the sounds around you as a reminder to be present to your Self, to be present to your breath, to be present to the Buddha within...